Adventures of Creepy Girl

С Днем Рождения мой жених!

Today is my pretend fiancé’s birthday. Well, in his time zone (Malaysia) it’s his birthday now. We had a little spat yesterday but that isn’t going to stop me from saying Happy Birthday to мой дорогой.  He is busy with work and spending time with a woman he can actually reach out and touch. Hopefully between the spat and him really getting laid, he won’t call off the pretend marriage. I wouldn’t be pretend disappointed; I would be really disappointed! Before the little spat, I did video chat with him and he looked very happy and very sweaty, so I hope he’s having a great time. I’m extremely jealous he’s at the beach even though it is also a business trip. I wouldn’t mind sitting by the ocean, listening to the waves crash and staring at it’s seeming infiniteness. 

Today I am on a mission that involves the state of my head. I have mentioned previously that the hair loss didn’t happen as I expected. It didn’t come out all at once. So currently there is still some stubble on my head. There is some hair that doesn’t seem ready to fall out and some parts that are a lot smoother. It is itchy and I hate it. I think I would be much more comfortable if it was completely smooth. So I am going out today to see if there is a place nearby that can shave it completely smooth. A barbershop or salon. I’ll just go in and say, “Hi, I’m going through chemotherapy but my head doesn’t seem to want to smooth out. Can someone please shave it for me?” I guess I could buy a nice men’s electric face razor but I think that would be more expensive and I would only need to use it once. Operation Smooth Head commences as soon as I finish putting on my makeup. 

I learned a new phrase in Swedish: “min online förälskelse” (my online crush)! I hope I’m not nearly as creepy as I probably sound… 

I just thought of 5 more things I might want to write about, but I not only have to keep in mind that as far as people I really know, I no longer have any idea who reads this, and I have to respect the privacy of others, e.g. not including others’ secrets or personal information without their permission. Even if I don’t include a person’s name, I like to feel confident that if I’m talking about something private, no one that reads this can figure out who that person is.

The most fun thing I did yesterday

Ok, in my last post, I shared a message I sent to my pretend fiancé in which I bitch about how horrible and creepy this Russian dating site is. And yet I keep getting on there because I get so many messages and my curiosity gets the best of me! (And did I mention I have a lot of free time?). I got another message from a Russian who didn’t speak any English but I guess because I was a bit bored, I tried to have a conversation anyway. He was just speaking Russian and I was just speaking English since the site won’t let me cut and paste what he says into a translator…. It wasn’t going anywhere. Finally he said one word we both know, “Skype.” I said, “How do you think we can talk on Skype when you don't speak any English and I don't speak any Russian? Or do you just think I'm going to get naked for you?”  He managed to explain after I said this that he could translate what I say if we spoke on Skype. Then I thought to myself, I am bored and this could be hilarious/interesting because he doesn’t speak English. So I decided, why the hell not? I can hang up on him if he is a creep.  Then when I got on video chat with him, I discovered he didn’t have speakers or a microphone, but I guess not hearing each other isn’t really an issue when you won’t understand the words anyway. It turned out to be a really interesting experiment though. Since his translator sucked, we had to break down our communication at times to merely gestures, facial expressions, and the handy Skype emoticons that transcend language barriers. It took me about half an hour to communicate to him that the video coming from his end had a bad picture and I couldn’t see him well at all. It ended with him saying, “she such and will be a camera in telephone bad.” Oh ok…..   But we have a lot of laughs about our inability to communicate such simple things to each other. I did understand him perfectly when he said, “You 25. 17 max.” Hahaha, yeah I get that enough to understand it even in broken English! Some topics were a losing battle though, like when I tried to explain to him that I was hot (it’s pretty hot right now in March!)and he though I meant I burnt my tongue! But we’ve managed to talk about religion, school, drinking, pets, dating, sex, work… all to a very limited extent though. I really wanted to pull a trick on him and maybe it’s good that I couldn’t because it seems like it might have been a bit mean! When I video chatted with him, I wore my Natasha wig. This morning he messaged me via text chat and said he wanted to video chat again later. So I thought, “I’ll wear a different wig this time and confuse the hell out of him!” Well, while I was chatting with him it came down to having to explain why I don’t do much other than sit at home, so I had to give away my cancer secret. I’m glad though because now I feel like it would have been too mean to pull that wig trick on him! So I guess Pavluntik is my friend now! Except I’m a bit concerned because he wants to chat constantly and keeps sending me kissy and heart emoticons. We’ll continue to get along well as long as he doesn’t think I’m somehow his girlfriend!

My pretend fiancé is leaving for Malaysia tomorrow so I won’t get to talk to him for a little while (he said Monday). I think his Malaysian lover is picking him up at the airport (grrr, jealousy!) and his trip will be a combination of business and pleasure, hehe. His birthday is coming up so I will have to come up with some kind of birthday surprise or something for him that doesn’t cost any money. 

I’ve become an expert at mixing up fruit at the bottom Greek yogurt. This might sound silly, but if you want it to be perfect, you have to take your time and get it right. My life is very exciting lately! :-D