Adventures of Creepy Girl

С Днем Рождения мой жених!

Today is my pretend fiancé’s birthday. Well, in his time zone (Malaysia) it’s his birthday now. We had a little spat yesterday but that isn’t going to stop me from saying Happy Birthday to мой дорогой.  He is busy with work and spending time with a woman he can actually reach out and touch. Hopefully between the spat and him really getting laid, he won’t call off the pretend marriage. I wouldn’t be pretend disappointed; I would be really disappointed! Before the little spat, I did video chat with him and he looked very happy and very sweaty, so I hope he’s having a great time. I’m extremely jealous he’s at the beach even though it is also a business trip. I wouldn’t mind sitting by the ocean, listening to the waves crash and staring at it’s seeming infiniteness. 

Today I am on a mission that involves the state of my head. I have mentioned previously that the hair loss didn’t happen as I expected. It didn’t come out all at once. So currently there is still some stubble on my head. There is some hair that doesn’t seem ready to fall out and some parts that are a lot smoother. It is itchy and I hate it. I think I would be much more comfortable if it was completely smooth. So I am going out today to see if there is a place nearby that can shave it completely smooth. A barbershop or salon. I’ll just go in and say, “Hi, I’m going through chemotherapy but my head doesn’t seem to want to smooth out. Can someone please shave it for me?” I guess I could buy a nice men’s electric face razor but I think that would be more expensive and I would only need to use it once. Operation Smooth Head commences as soon as I finish putting on my makeup. 

I learned a new phrase in Swedish: “min online förälskelse” (my online crush)! I hope I’m not nearly as creepy as I probably sound… 

I just thought of 5 more things I might want to write about, but I not only have to keep in mind that as far as people I really know, I no longer have any idea who reads this, and I have to respect the privacy of others, e.g. not including others’ secrets or personal information without their permission. Even if I don’t include a person’s name, I like to feel confident that if I’m talking about something private, no one that reads this can figure out who that person is.

Counseling For Dummies

 Ok, I’m done with Sharon (counselor/therapist/psychologist). She really rubs me the wrong way. Maybe I could deal with her if her over the top personality was the only issue (probably not though), but her offensive comments have pushed me over the edge. Not only did she make highly inappropriate comments about religion and negative comments about people of different cultural backgrounds, she said one thing that just left me completely speechless. When I told her than I planned on embracing my baldness when it gets extremely hot this summer, she said, “That’s ok! People will just think you are going through a butch phase!” What the fuck? That is not ok to say in any setting, much less a professional setting. I already feel that I don’t need therapy but if I did, I would not put my mental health in this incompetent woman’s hands. Also, it seemed a bit alarming that the bookshelf in her office had so many For Dummies books on it (Depression For Dummies, Bipolar Disorder For Dummies, etc). I don’t actually like talking to dummies… and I certainly don’t want to leave therapy feeling worse instead of better. 

I went out today on a trip to get mouthwash and olive oil and I wore only a thin, pink skull cap. I’m sure I looked very much like a chemo patient and I got a lot of stares. It didn’t really bother me that much and I pretended not to notice. Maybe I should go the route of telling myself that people are staring because they think I am famous (ha!) or giving them all dirty looks and yell, “I have cancer! Do you have a problem with that??” No, not really my style.  :-)

Tonight I get to eat sushi and see my friends Kathleen and Perri! We are eating at the Japanese restaurant that I mentioned in a previous post. So I have two wing women and maybe I can now find out at least one of the names of the two cute guys who work there. Flirting is not my forte though. I’m just glad I get to see my friends! Gotta pack in some fun before chemo Monday!

*EDIT*

Just got some pink hair in the mail! Now I just need a crazy party to go to!

Bye bye hair!

I was pulling my hair out in big chunks easily today so we decided to go ahead and shave it so it wouldn't end up falling out everywhere. I tried to video the beginning but we found out quickly that we had to cut it before we could shave it!

This is an "outtake" video of me trying to tell my mom how to properly direct a video, lol:

Here are some pictures of the process:

getting it cut short before the shaving process

Mom starting to shave it

John shaving it closer

really close shave

getting adjusted

I'm bald!

I don't think I mind the bald look so much (almost kind of like it) and I can put on my fake hair when I want now :-)


I have to mention that my awesome friend Jessica had support bracelets made for me that are kind of like Lance Armstrong's livestrong bracelets. They are red and say "There's something about Mary" on them! Funny and sweet at the same time. She's given them out to my friends at work to wear and today gave me some for my family members to wear. She's such a great friend!