Showing posts with label Rush Limbaugh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rush Limbaugh. Show all posts

Friday, May 11, 2012

Thief!



I couldn’t be happier about this announcement! I hope he really sticks to this and we can move towards equal rights for all. Of course, anytime anything goes on, I really, really need to know Rush Limbaugh’s opinion:


I mentioned an incident in my last post and so now I don’t think I can just not explain it, even though I would rather not broadcast it…

My name is Mary and I steal from grocery stores. Grocery store. Once! ACCIDENTALLY! 

The other day I went to the grocery store to pick up a few random things (soy milk, pears, spinach). When I’m in a hurry, I go straight to the various products that I need and then check out and leave. When I have the time, I like to go up and down each aisle, discovering items I’ve never seen before. Maybe finding new favorite foods. Currently, I almost always have time to do this (though not always enough energy). So on this day, that is exactly what I was doing. I happened upon some Febreze car air fresheners that were on clearance for about $2. They were little air fresheners that you clip on your air vent so the smell goes throughout your car. My car still has a faint smell of vomit from when I got sick on Cinco de Mayo, so I thought I would try one. I set it up in that upper part of the shopping car that is made to be a child’s seat (since it was such a small item). I have no child so the built in child’s seat is my purse holder. By the time I got to the check-out line, I was getting worn down and threw all my items up on the little check-out conveyor belt quickly, paid and left. After I loaded my stuff in my car and took my purse out of the child’s seat, I noticed that the air freshener had gotten tucked under my purse, and I therefore had not paid for it. Now I could have gone back inside and paid the $2 for it right then. But I was very tired at this point and it was very hot, so I made the immoral decision to just throw the air freshener in my car and leave. I hope you will not think I am a horrible person now and write me mean messages or call the police on me. I will donate $2 to a charitable organization to try to atone for my bad deed (I would donate more if money wasn’t so tight right now). On top of that, my skin is so sensitive now from the chemo that when I plugged in the air freshener to my air vent, the side of my face the air was blowing started to itch like crazy immediately. Or I was itchy from guilt! In any case, I can’t even use it. 

I did a little bit of work on my painting yesterday. I started in on the part of the tumor that ruptured but didn’t get far before Aaron got here:



I’m about to work on it some more right now.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Droopy Dog


Why do people eat caesar salads? Yuck!

Why is my second toe longer than my big toe? Looks strange. 

Why does the Russian alphabet have to be so confusing?

Why can’t I find someone else with cancer to be my friend? :-(

Why can’t I donate all the cancer cells in my body to Rush Limbaugh?

Why can’t I speak every single language in existence without having to actually learn them?

Why can’t we get universal healthcare passed so I don’t have to worry that I can’t afford to have diabetes and cancer?

Why can’t I seem to pick up a book and start reading it? I love to read. 

Why have I gained a couple of pounds since starting chemo instead of losing weight? Not cool. 

Why do I check Facebook so often? I rarely see anything worthwhile there. 

Why do spicy foods make my nose run? (Gross)

Why can’t wigs be less hot and itchy?

Why does it have to get so fucking hot in Alabama during the summer?

Why did I get cancer? :-(


I get so tired that it feels like the area under my eyes is sinking down down down and I have to check a mirror to make sure I don’t look like this: