"Eat, Drink & See Mary"

This morning I woke up feeling completely miserable. I had really bad stabbing pains in my abdomen and chest, and I couldn’t stop vomiting. Now that I’ve taken my nausea and pain pills, and my mom made some toast for me, I feel much better. I’m hardly ecstatic that the pain in my abdomen seems to be getting worse and worse. On Thursday I get my 3^rd treatment of Avastin. 3 is the magic number apparently for deciding if it is really working for me or not. Sometime after that 3^rd treatment I will get another CT scan. Dr. Barnes said that if the Avastin has kept the tumors from growing, I should consider staying on it. It’s not ideal because I wished I could feel more energetic and deal with less pain, but it might be my best option. The Avastin side effects are not nearly as bad as the side effects for the chemo combination that might be the next step if Avastin fails. I thought I was chemo resist at this point but I suppose everything dealing with my cancer is more complicated than I would like. The numbers Dr. Barnes threw at me for the rate of success for the chemo do not sound promising (30% comes to mind for one option) but he felt it was enough for it to be an option worth exploring. If you listening to the recording I posted, you heard me tell him I do not want to go through hell for no reason. I guess I can’t help but feel at this point that I’m meant to beat this cancer. I wouldn’t say that I’m depressed but I also wouldn’t say that I’m feeling very hopeful. 

I feel that I should add because some people seemed a bit confused about it, that Avastin is not a type of chemo drug and they are not giving it to me in the hopes that it will cure my cancer. The best case scenario is that it shrinks my tumors a bit so I can get some more mileage out of life. 

 The trip to Vegas with my family is still on for now. I’ll be leaving on November 19^th and coming back on the 25^th. I’m both excited and dreading it (because I get exhausted so easily). If you know of inexpensive, fun things to do in Vegas that don’t require a ton of energy, leave me a comment about it or email me at CancerGirlMary@aol.com. 

Yesterday, I received a $200 medical bill for finding out my cancer is indeed the type of cancer the original pathologists thought it was. I’m still glad I had the tissues retested. Honestly, when Dr. Huh said it would be expensive to get it retested, I was imagining it costing around $2,000, so $200 seems great in comparison. Hopefully, they can let me set up a payment plan. 

I want to end this post on a happy note. My friend Jessica who is having the support shirts made for me and my friend Allison are through a little party for on November 12^th! “November is traditionally a month for giving thanks for all the good things in our lives. Please join us to give thanks for one another and to celebrate our friend Mary.” Most of the people who’ve been invited are my friends from the restaurant I worked at before I got so sick. I will be really excited to see all of them. Jessica and Allison want to try to get a group photo of everyone in their “I wear teal for Mary” shirts. I really, really hope I am feeling well enough to go because I can’t wait!

I hope everyone reading this is having a nice week so far, where ever you may be. :-)