Gambling

Dr. Huh called me today with the results from the new pathologist. As he suspected, my diagnosis has not changed. We are still dealing with juvenile granulosa cell cancer. The main contenders for treatment options are Avastin, the alternative treatment Dr. Barnes and Dr. Gore originally presented to me, and BEP chemo. Dr. Gore seems to strongly feel that BEP isn’t going to work. He thinks Avastin will give me the best quality of live for the time I have left (about 6 months to 1 year according to Dr. Barnes). Dr. Huh feels that even though BEP might be hell and cause long term side effects, it shouldn’t be completely taken off the table. So I have one doctor telling me BEP may or may not work and one doctor telling he isn’t even considering BEP. Dr. Huh agreed with me that there are no good options at this point and any choice is a gamble. I am completely overwhelmed. I’m fairly certain this is the biggest decision I’ve ever had to make and I have no idea what I should do. Dr. Huh mentioned getting a biopsy of one of the tumors now living in my intestines to see how it reactions to different chemo drugs. I can’t help but find that kind of interesting, especially since all the doctors seem to agree that my cancer is acting abnormally. I probably didn’t ask enough questions when I had Dr. Huh. I can’t think of all the right questions and I think it’s because I don’t even want to think about this stuff. 

I’m trying to get in to talk to Dr. Barnes as soon as possible to get more information and see what he thinks about all this. He is the go to guy when it comes to gynecological oncology and he has been in contact with Dr. Gore and Dr. Huh. I really hope he can make the decision clearer for me. This time I should probably make a list of questions before I go and not worry about taking up too much of the doctor’s time like I normally do. My life is on the line and I stressed out and scared. 

On a happier note, my sweet Aunt Cindy gave me a gift card to a spa and I used it on Saturday to get my hair colored back to red (my original hair color before chemo) and to get a facial. Here is the result of the coloring process:

Emma definitely brings the cuteness to this picture. Also, I really miss my long hair :-(

I’ve gotten it in my head that I want to start some kind of Mary Scott Foundation so if I pass away. My hope is that it could fund a scholarship for a student who has cancer or is a cancer survivor. Maybe it could help raise awareness about ovarian cancer. This is a big idea though and I wouldn’t even know how something like this could come to be. 

A few pictures of friends and family showing support with their t-shirts:

My friend Cathy's adorable kids

My friend Nick and his beautiful daughter

The back of Joe's shirt

Kathleen took a close-up of the front of her shirt

 I know some people have expressed interest in getting a shirt. My friend amazing friend Jessica is making the shirts but if you want to email me at CancerGirlMary@aol.com, I can work something out with her (I doubt she would want me posting her email or phone number here). Her friend's mom is making the shirts for us in long and short sleeve, in adult sizes small - 3XL and youth sizes small - large. 

I'm sure there is more to say, but I have so much bouncing around in my head right now that I can't think of anything else. So now I think it's dinner time and then bedtime.