Zombie Clown

I'm exhausted. I want to be asleep right now but for some reason I feel guilty when I don't update here regularly. I'm not sure why... maybe if I go too long without writing someone will think I'm dead? Just some of my not fully explainable guilt.

The good news of the day is that I made a 96% on my statistics final which makes my overall grade for the class a 96.1%. My grade was made available at 3:00 PM and I logged in to check it at exactly 3:04 PM and did the math to figure out my final grade right away. My mom took me out to dinner to celebrate my grade and the first summer semester being over. Summer II starts Monday... the same day I go in for (maybe) chemo. :-/

The bad news of the day came in the form of a piece of mail from the Alabama Department of Revenue that basically said, "Hey bitch! You still owe us $222.68! We will cut out your kidney as payment if you don't send us money!" Ok, so a bit of an exaggeration. I already knew I owed this money... months ago. But I had completely forgotten about it. "Unexpected" expenses.

Even though I had already turned in my stage makeup final (the pictures I posted yesterday), there was one assignment left that I had put off and put off until the last minute (today - the last day to turn in assignments). It was a research paper. Basically I had to take character I couldn't create with the limited supplies I have and research and write about exactly how I would do the makeup for that character. I chose this cute little guy who made an appearance in the movie Zombieland:

My paper was probably shit, but I'm too exhausted to care at this point. Now I'm going to sleep. I hope I dream of blueberry pie again and not zombie clowns.

Pablo Picasso

For my stage makeup final, which is due tomorrow, I had to "draw inspiration from fine art." I chose Picasso. Who else?

The professor said we would need several attempts to get this assignment just right and our first attempt would not be good enough. This is my first attempt and I am tired. I am not doing this all over again. END!

Final Exams!!!

"Stress is a term that is commonly used today but has become increasingly difficult to define. It shares, to some extent, common meanings in both the biological and psychological sciences. Stress typically describes a negative concept that can have an impact on one’s mental and physical well-being, but it is unclear what exactly defines stress and whether or not stress is a cause, an effect, or the process connecting the two. With organisms as complex as humans, stress can take on entirely concrete or abstract meanings with highly subjective qualities, satisfying definitions of both cause and effect in ways that can be both tangible and intangible."

Until everything is finished Friday I'm on the verge of this:

 

The Finish Line

This morning I had an appointment at the cancer center just to get my blood tested to see how my immune system is holding up. I was told it was to see where I stood as a way of deciding if I would get chemo next week or the week after. I found out that I wouldn’t have been up to getting chemo today (my white count was low) but I have an appointment next Monday to come in early and get my blood again… if my white count is up, I will get chemo. This makes me wonder why my appointment today was even necessary. I could have just come in next Monday morning, check my blood then, and then chemo or no chemo. Maybe I’m just missing something but the cancer center makes me so tired and I always forget to ask the questions I want to ask like a good patient should.

The nurse actually gave me my lab results sheet which was an exciting first. I don’t typically get lab result sheets from doctors other than my endocrinologist. When I get those in the mail from him, I get sort of excited and have to look up all the tests run that I don’t know anything about. My “abnormal summary” is white blood cell count low (2.0 K/uL with the normal range being 3.5-11.0) and monocytes high (14.5% with the normal range being 0.0-12.0). I had said to the nurse that it seemed like I was getting a sinus infection and apparently a high monocyte level can be a sign of infection, so I was told to start taking the antibiotics I have to keep on hand at all times. 

I’ve been feeling better and stronger than the week before I got rejected for chemo treatment so it would be really fantastic if I was ready for chemo next week. Not because I just love getting chemo and can’t wait for it, obviously; but because it pushes me towards the finish line a bit faster.

The Walrus and The Carpenter

from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carroll

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.


The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done--
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"


The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead--
There were no birds to fly.


The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"


"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.


"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."


The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head--
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.


But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat--
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.


Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.


The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.


"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."


"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.


"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed--
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."


"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said.
"Do you admire the view?


"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf--
I've had to ask you twice!"


"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"


"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.


"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

Making Female/Making Male

Thanks for the laugh, Aaron :-P

For my stage makeup course we had one assignment to "make yourself look male" and one assignment to "make yourself look female" regardless of our actual gender. I guess with no makeup at all, right now I sort of look androgynous or maybe like a space alien, so both assignments required a bit of effort on my part. We had to use pictures of a female and male of our choosing for each respective assignment. I thought they would both be sort of easy but after I was finished, I felt like I had done a shit job on both.

A female is created:

It's difficult to tell in this picture what a horrible job I did with the false eyelashes

A male is created:

My lips are just too girly and my face makes me look like a fat guy

Too tired in general to redo these. I'll just have to accept whatever grade I get and move on to the next assignment.

Stockholm Syndrome

When you aren’t particularly witty, that rare occasion when you have the perfect comeback or remark at the perfect moment can be somewhat exhilarating. If you are in the small percentage of truly clever people in this world, I suspect this high is not so high for you. The perfect (at least in my mind) comment is much more likely to pop into my head hours after that perfect moment to share it has passed. I don’t even have a story or example that I was leading up to. I think I was just wishing I was very clever. A note: saying the most clever and BRUTAL statement at the most opportune (most vulnerable) moment is nothing to feel exhilarated about. I am ashamed to confess that I’ve said some horrible things in the past, but each individual cutting remark or insult fills me with guilt to this day. If hurting people with well-crafted verbal abuses fills you with joy, you should consider seeing a therapist or at least do some soul searching.

I was once in love with the person who crafted this hateful rant and decided to post his “clever” creation has his self description on his dating site profile:

“Sometimes, when I meet someone, the terribly vacuous things that spew forth from the gaping chasm of stupidity carved into the fleshy orb resting on a serpentine neck weaken my perceptions, shoving me into a downward spiral, clawing towards unconsciousness.

When I awaken some time later, caked in blood - the origin of which is questionable - and still shivering from the earlier terrors of a stupid person, I sob uncontrollably before falling to my knees and thrusting my fists to the heavens as I scream, questioning the meaning of it all.

I also like green tea, Pop-Tarts, and headbutting infants.

[How boring can you people be? If all we have on which to base our opinions of you is a self-summary, maybe you should - I don't know - put some fucking effort into it? We already know you Suck Dick (and not in the sexy, sexy way) at Life™, so at least try to entertain us with your profile that reeks so badly of desperation I can smell it THROUGH THE INTERNET.]”

Another note: verbose and clever are not synonyms. 

I posted those words on my profile on this same site just as a silly experiment to keep myself entertained. I currently engage in a lot of silly behaviors to keep myself in good spirits. I let this person know as an afterthought, just thinking he might find it mildly amusing. No, he was upset that I stole his great and awesome work/his internet dating profile. “I put a lot of time into that” [profile to guarantee that no one will write to me]. Ok, undone. Changed. Not an issue for me. You can have your Mona Lisa back. Please let me know how I should repent for my wicked ways. I feel so privileged to have been gifted your more private works: “Die in a fire” and “If you weren’t a woman, I would drive to Alabama and beat the shit out of you” but I have not shared them until now as I felt they would not be palatable to the general public. 

I have always had excellent taste in men. :-D

Straight away I stole my Swedish friend Daniel’s profile and changed my location to Stockholm. Of course he did not care.

Cancer news: I am feeling better and stronger than last week. So glad to feel well enough to go out to eat with both of my parents this week. :-)

NERD ALERT!!!

I took this stage makeup course because I like doing makeup. The following pictures are not for an assignment for that class. I did it simple because it got stuck in my head and it was fun, not because I joined a death metal band:

Next is a picture I've been trying to capture for a while now. Every time she hears me coming and sees me with the camera, she moves so I had to sneak up on her:

Fat, lazy lump of dog

Question 28 of 7th Business Statistics test (unnecessary to read unless you want to zone out in boredom halfway through): "A national manufacturer of unattached garages discovered that the distribution of the lengths of time it takes two construction workers to erect the Red Barn model is normally distributed with a mean of 32 hours and a standard deviation of 2 hours. What percent of the garages take between 30 and 34 hours to erect?"

My question posed to the entire class via the Facebook group we had to join (unnecessary to read unless you want to zone out in boredom halfway through): "I don't understand how the answer is not around 68% since 30 and 34 are both 1 standard deviation from the mean, on either side. I got 68.26% when I worked out the problem using appendix B1. None of the answer choices are near 68% but I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Did anybody else get something different?"

Response from professor: "I have contacted the publisher and as soon as I hear from them, I will adjust the credit to the question." (the tests we take are made by the publisher of our textbook, not the professor)

I don't see why the professor, who has a PhD in economics, cannot just tell me if I am right or wrong. I feel like he should know what the answer should be. I've read the problem over and over and it seems pretty cut and dry, but I won't be satisfied until I find out for sure. So if you are reading this and are sure that you know the answer, please validate me or correct me!

 

Something warm and fuzzy if you have time to look: http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/pictures-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity