in a funk :-(

Yesterday was such a good day until the very end. During the last few hours before sleep, it seemed I lost a friend (the one I talked about having a fight with a couple of posts ago) and needed a good cry about it. I went to sleep early because I was having a hard time taking my mind off of it and just didn’t want to think about it anymore. 

Today I’m still feeling a bit down and out about it and the sad feelings seem to be rubbing off on other things as well. Like this blog for example. I can see stats for it… like how many people look at it each day and how many people from different countries are looking at it. But I don’t get many comments so I start to worry that what I’m saying is just really boring or silly or not well written at all. I hear sometimes from friends in real life they really like my blog, but since I’m really putting myself out there in a lot of ways, I worry that it’s just not interesting. 

And on top of that, my bad mood isn’t helping with my anxiousness about chemo tomorrow. Or rather, the way the chemo is going to make me feel.

Because I’m just not feeling in a great mood, that’s all I have to say today. I need to get out of this funk somehow.

*EDIT*

Now that I'm fully awake, have had some tylenol, a chat with my mom, and a skype with my pretend fiancé as my Natasha personality, I feel much better. My friends invited me to see My Week With Marilyn but they are going later tonight and I want to be well rested for chemo first thing in the morning, so I'm not going to go. I'm sad not to hang out with them though. I could use a girl's night out after being so down last night and this morning. Sweet Aaron (my coffee date) scanned the blog card I talked about yesterday since I couldn't figure out how to. Here it is:

Neat, right?

I was thinking I've talk about a few somewhat risqué and personal things here, but I will probably not end up discussing politics here. Partly because a lot of things that go on (and don't go on) frustrate me so much. I could never have a job having anything to do with politics because my blood pressure would be so high all of the time. Even when I watch shows about politics that are meant to be funny, I will get worked up sometimes. I also don't really care to ruffle any feathers with regards to politics on my cancer blog. I'm aware that my political views don't line up with the majority in Alabama for the most part (though it seems that a lot of people have looked at my blog in other states and other countries) but I am not in the mood to argue with anyone. Especially with these recent headaches. I also try very hard not to be one of those people that has a hard fast opinion about something I'm not well informed enough about (as it seems many politicians do!) and don't want to be the type of person to rant about something I don't have any business ranting about.