Sweden or Germany

FINALS: Fuck, I never actually learned shit. 

I guess since my grades were As, it would seem like I did learn “shit,” but I could feel all the information draining from my ears as soon as I finished my final exams. So don’t look to me for answer answers about the economy or computer hardware/software. 

Now summer classes are over and I have a break until fall classes start on the 27^th. I’m started to feel better so I might get more enjoyment from the break, depending on what I find out after my CT scan. I simply can’t stand the possibility that I will have to get more chemo. It seems much worse to slowly get back a bit of energy and then have it taken away again than to have just gotten it on the schedule I had expected. 

Also, if I am not healthy enough, it could wreak my dream of studying abroad in Sweden or Germany for the spring semester. I’ve sending out tons of emails and making phone calls about financial aid and scholarships that would make this possible (along with looking up all sorts of other information about it). I think I’ll be crushed if it doesn’t work out. :-(

Please oh please work out!

R is for Remission

Two days until my final treatment. I’m both excited to be done with chemo and dreading how awful I’m going to feel. Getting a bit depressed this last time scared me. Every time I’m down and out for even a day I worry that I will spiral out of control again. I keep reminding myself that I’m OK and that this will be over soon enough. It’s surprising how helpful it is for me to just say, “You’re OK” to myself. 

Soon I hope to hear Dr. Gore drop the R word: Remission. I suppose then I might need to change the name of this blog. I might consider not writing at all anymore since I don’t feel that I’m interesting here. I will have more going on in my life in the near future so I might have less time to dedicate to this blog. But I am planning something big though, which is the main reason I will probably continue posting! I have been trying to sort out the details of doing a semester abroad at Lund University in Lund, Sweden or at the Technical University of Dortmund in Dortmund, Germany during the spring or summer term of 2013! The school I choose (and whether I go at all) will depend on many different factors, including the financial aspect and getting everything prepared in time. I can only use the financial aid my university allocates to me if my university will accept the classes I choose to take abroad as transfer credits. 

These are the courses I was looking into for Lund U:

Religious Studies: Peace, for God's Sake. 

Violence, Gender and Culture - A Global Survey.

One World, One Morality.

Introduction to the Middle East.

I can’t plan so much for Dortmund because even though my university has an exchange agreements with them, I need to hear back from the coordinator of exchange programs at my university. Her father had heart surgery recently (but he is doing better) so I understand why I haven’t heard from her. I might just email the TU Dortmund myself to get some information. 

It’s nice to have something to get excited about and look forward to now that I’m coming to the end of this cancer chapter. I might be a restraining order to prevent future recurrences.