Sunday, July 1, 2012

"...having never really lived."


According to weather.com, there is an “excessive heat warning” for the area in which I live until 9:00 PM tonight. Right now it is 102 (38.9 Celsius) degrees and the high is supposed to be 106 (41 Celsius). Typical summer in Alabama. I’ve found that the best way to insure that I will vomit is to go out in this heat. I always get really nauseous and almost always puke. This isn’t a typical yearly reaction to summer time for me… it has to be related to the chemotherapy. 

I’m feeling pretty good so far today though so I think that my white count will be high enough in the morning for me to get chemo. At least I hope that it will be high enough. I want to get all this over with as quickly as possible so I can start working toward normalcy. Actually, I think for a while at least, normal will feel incredible. Going to class or to work will be some kind of amazing adventure. Just being able to go to the store without feeling miserably tired or nauseous will be some small miracle. And I will just feel so grateful to be alive and to have so many possibilities before me. It seems that these types of feelings of awe over life after some event like surviving cancer fade with time… but I really hope that it stays with me a least a bit so I truly appreciate even the small wonders of life and boldly seek out the big wonders. 


4 comments:

  1. Hi! I see that you have not had many comments. I still pop in once a day just to see if you post. It is always nice to "hear" what you're felling good or bad. If you like I can say hi whenever I'm here. The heat wave is here also, 95 in Central Wisconsin. It still gets down to the 60's at night. That is good, all I have is one window unit for the whole house(small old farm house with almost no insulation).

    Even if you do not get chemo, they would give you fluids if needed - I think. Do try to stay hydrated on your own. Always wishing you well!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So what are you "felling"? Sorry, Mom said she did not raise no fool - but I keep trying to prove her wrong.

    Don't forget your list of questions.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your last paragraph was very beautiful.

    I seriously respect you because cancer's made you a better person. I think how a person handles the tough stuff in their life defines and shows their character. I think it's made you a better person because you wanted it to, you created this blog and tried to do something positive with it. So it can be with the rest of your life, I think good things can come of it if you make sure of it.

    Congrats on the "green light" in your other post, I hope things are going to line up for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your sweet comment! I really hope that I do continue to have a positive attitude and make the most of life.

      Delete