The Beautiful People

My last few posts have been on the depressing side. I did start this blog after finding out I have cancer so a bit of that is to be expected. I was a complete mess most of the day Thursday. It just seemed like everything culminated and Gordon’s death was the final straw. I just had to have a mini break down. I am feeling much better today though, despite the fact that I had to start taking antibiotics for chest pain, coughing, and sore throat, and I have mysterious broken out in a rash on my back, arms, chest, and head. I’m also dealing with some bone pain from the Neulasta shot, but now it isn’t nearly as bad as it was Thursday. 

There is a bullshit scam dating website out there called BeautifulPeople.com. If you check out the main page of the site, it says things like, “meet REAL beautiful people who actually look in real life as they do online,” “be part of the largest most exclusively beautiful community in the world,” and “be discovered.” There is also a big green button that says, “Create free membership here.” This is what happens next: you upload a picture of yourself and for 2 days members of the site vote on whether or not you are attractive enough to join. When members are rating the applicants, the options given are, “Beautiful,” “Hmmm ok,” “No,” or “Absolutely not.” I believe the majority of your votes have to fit in the “Beautiful” category at the end of the 2 days to be able to join. I wish I could say that I only uploaded my picture for voting because I got really bored. Actually, I wish I could say that I never got involved in this shallow website at all. The truth is, I just wanted to see if I would get voted on or off. I put my self-esteem in the hands of people who I probably wouldn’t find worthy of even a conversation in real life. If I had been rejected, I know my feelings would have been damaged even though that would be ridiculous. Because I was accepted, I figured out that it was all a scam. Even though the big green button on the main page of the site says, “Create free membership here,” once you have become a member, to really be able to participate in the site, you have to pay $24.99 per month! If you want to send a message to another member, you have to pay. If you receive a message from another member, you have to pay to be able to read it. Really, the only thing you can do without paying is rate prospective members. “Beautiful,” “Hmmm ok,” “No,” or “Absolutely not.” That’s a pretty low reason to stay on a website. Even if I did have $25 to spare (I don’t), I wouldn’t waste it on the opportunity to talk to people who joined a dating site called Beautiful People. I know I ended up joining too so I’m being a bit of a hypocrite, but I like to think it’s slightly better that I fall into the group of people who joined the site because they’re curious about whether or not they will make it, and not the group of people that joined the site because they believe they are superior somehow. Probably not that much better though…

Yes, I am writing about internet life again. Lame. I was reminded yesterday of why I don’t need to push myself to go out when I’m just too sick and tired though. My mom took me out just to get a bite to eat and pick up a few things at the grocery store. We weren’t gone long but by the time I came back, I felt so miserable I just had to crash into my bed and stay there for a long time. Hopefully I will start to feel better soon.

I mentioned trading my "Rachel" wig for a short red wig and I said I would try to take some pictures in it. Well, it turned out that wig was in horrible shape and wouldn't even stay on my head properly, so it went it the trash where is belongs. On a real hair note, this is the look I really want to go for when my hair starts to grow back:

I love this!