Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Confession


Yesterday I confessed to the first person I was ever in love with that I loved them. About 6 years later! I said (via text), “This is a bit awkward to say but I think you are the first person I was ever in love with even though everything was fucked up at the time. I’m not sure if I ever told you that. I can’t remember.” It turns out that in fact I hadn’t ever told him that. Not surprising. I think cancer is making me more open with my feelings. I don’t know that I’ve come much farther in the way that I deal with romantic feelings. The confession felt good though. Currently trying to think of other things to confess to…

Last night I cried myself to sleep over a guy I have never even met. I might consider bringing that up when I talk to the new counselor next week because it makes me feel pathetic and strange. I should add that I feel fine today and that my frustration in general probably contributed more to the crying than the guy. 

I think my eyebrows are thinning out and I simply do not want to deal with another loss of any kind. Maybe I can tape or glue them down. I am going to the Look Good...Feel Better makeup class for cancer patients next week, so hopefully the makeup artist there will have some good tips. 

I'm going to try to refocus on eating healthy. I've let my weight going down and chemotherapy be an excuse to eat a lot of junk. I should be doing the opposite. I should be eating super healthy since my immune system is shit. I'm going to the grocery store in a bit to pick up a few healthier things.

4 comments:

  1. Naaaaw, thats awesome to tell someone that after 6 years.

    / XX U

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  2. You should eat as healthy as possible right now but it is FAR EASIER to eat whatever you want when you are not in sync with the rest of the body. xo

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  3. Here is a good article on healthy eating during chemotherapy.

    I basically stuck to a high protein, bland diet (as in, no spices that would give indigestion a chance to kick in or aggravate the heightened sense of smell, just salt, butter and black pepper). So, mainly chicken, eggs and tuna. Bland tomato-paste spaghetti with no spices, things like that.

    The worst thing about being on chemo for me was I was told to cut caffeine from my diet completely because it would have a negative reaction with one of the supporting drugs I was on and because caffeine is a diuretic and can make it difficult to stay hydrated during chemo. Did you hear anything like that?

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