|Current state of the scar. My stomach is still holding fluid even though I've lost weight overall.|
After blood work and a CAT scan, the last thing I expected the doctor to come in the room and tell me was that I had a large mass in my abdomen. Ok, it's true that I didn't know what to expect at all but hearing that I had a mass was a shock. I ended up seeing a gynecological oncologist that very Monday and being set up for surgery Friday.
I didn't sleep at all the night before surgery and while waiting with my mom, dad, aunt, and grandmother to be wheeled off to get cut open, I began to feel the panic roll over me. I had just been excited to get this mass out of me and hadn't considered the pain that comes with waking up from a major surgery. It seems as though I did wake up in pain but I was so out of it that I don't remember it clearly. I also very vaguely remember the surgeon telling me that the mass was ovarian cancer. He took out the left ovary (along with 3 gallons of fluid buildup) but left my other lady parts. Soon I was wheeled into the nicest hospital room (no, this was a hospital suite) I'd ever been in where all my family members were waiting. I didn't feel so terrible at this point- hooked up to my morphine drip with my catheter there to save me from getting up to use the restroom.
I was in the hospital from the Friday I had the surgery until next Thursday so a lot of it is a blur. I remember the horror of hearing both the catheter and the morphine drip would be taken away. The next time I had to pee, I would have to use my sliced up stomach muscles to get myself out of bed. The first 3 times were simply horrible. After that I developed a system and it became manageable. I remember the surgeon coming back to tell me he thought the type of cancer was germ cell but wouldn't be sure until he got the results from the biopsy back. I remember too many visitors. I just wanted to be alone so I could rest. I remember feeling disgusting because I was told I couldn't shower and then I remember finally getting to take a shower with a bit of help. I remember keeping very close tabs on the clock to remind the nurses when it was type for another pain pill.
Most clearly I remember feeling much worse than I should have because bad medical decisions caused me to go into diabetic ketoacidosis. I have type 1 diabetes. I'm not on the insulin pump so I take two types of insulin, one long acting insulin and one short acting insulin. I need these insulins to keep me alive. Because I was not able to eat after the surgery, the surgeon decided I only needed boluses of my short acting insulin. I raised my concerns over this with him but was promptly dismissed. It's frustrating for me to have to deal with so many doctors that know so little about type 1 diabetes. I would have been out of the hospital quicker had this dangerous mishap not occurred.
I'll stop here for now because I suspect this is all very boring.