Monday, February 27, 2012

Paw Paw

I'm starting to tear up before even beginning to write this. This picture is of (left to right) my cousin Andrew, me with my red curls, and my brother Ryan. Behind us is my Paw Paw, my grandfather. I think looking at his happy smile in this picture is what is making me want to cry the most. I have a lot of memories of him smiling at me. Paw Paw struggled with cancer to a much greater extent than I am. It really seems he was getting every type of cancer there is. I was too young to understand any of it, I just knew he was a great and kind grandfather and I loved him very much. I don't think I even understood that he was sick back then. But eventually all the battles with cancer took his life when I when still very young. I remember going to see him in the hospital right before he died and being afraid and confused. I didn't understand why he left us until I was much older. Going through this is making me miss him even more. I wish I could have known him now, as an adult. All the memories I have are very fuzzy and this is the only picture that I have of him. I think I'm going to stop writing for now because I'm on the verge of a much needed cry.

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