Next Wednesday

It is morning time, which means I am feeling the best I will feel today. I got a message in response to my possibly having to do more/harsher chemo from someone who went through chemo for a very long time. It’s not the warm kind of “everything will be fine!” message. It’s stark and realistic but still somehow eases me more than the other type of message:

“I hope things don't become more difficult for you, but if it does happen I can tell you that, as perverse as it may sound, the difficulty of chemo and everything that goes with it, despite my imagining I could not endure it when I first began, became almost routine after a while.

It's cold comfort, but I'm sure that even if things don't go the way you want them to, you'll be able to overcome easier than you previously thought.

Mankind has a broad back I suppose.”

I think I needed to hear something like that from someone who has actually gone through chemo and come out alright. 

I will get scans done Monday and then will get my answers from Dr. Gore on Wednesday. I will have to be patient until then, which has not really been difficult so far. I feel like I’ve been waiting this whole time I’ve been getting chemo to see how things would play out, so one more week isn’t really that daunting. 

Lately, I’ve been thinking I would love to go on a trip of some sort, big or small. Possibly because I’ve got so much free time and I sit at home so much. Lack of sufficient money and energy makes a trip impractical at the moment though. I think it’s good that I will be a bit busier soon because I start two of the four online summer classes I am taking at the end of this month: “Quantitative Methods in Business” (barf) and “Stage Makeup” (exciting!) These two classes will last just through June and then I will start on “Intro to Microeconomics” and “Intro to Computers.”

Now I think I will work a bit more on The Lord of the Rings painting I started yesterday. I’m stressed out that it will come out looking awful and I won’t send something awful to the man who was so nice enough to donate money to me.